Cerebraly Implanted Language Acquisition Software

We at the Guild of Voices believe language should be accessible to everyone1. So accessible, in fact, that we want to be able to beam it straight into your brain! Introducing Cerebraly Implanted Language Acquisition Software, or CILAS.

CILAS, when installed, allows you to understand any2 language as though it were your own! Translate to your friends, impress your clients! Only a small3 amount of training and certification allows you to be an upstanding4 member of the GOV, giving you the status of Guild Ordained Lingual Facilitator!

All GOLFs’ CILAS are equipped with our patented technology, which allows for the automatic updating of any CILAS programing5, allowing for hassle free7 language learning!

Contact the Guild of Voices today to learn more, and sign up for your very own CILAS or GOLF!

1 for a nominal fee.

2 so long as it has been installed

3 GOLF training may take from 2 months to 7 years, depending on the level of the CILAS requested.

4 paying

5 Automatic6 updating may include: jargon updates, new word meanings, deletion of languages known, the termination of the ability to speak, the termination of the ability to understand language.

6 ‘Automatic’ may include the meaning ‘without consent of the CILAS’ GOLF’.

7 The GOV cannot be held responsible for clients whose definition of ‘hassle’ does not match that of the GOV. No refunds.


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